


Surprisingly Sturdy Furniture

by tinyforestshark



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Dom/sub, F/M, M/M, Multi, Nantaimori, Pegging, ashe and hanzo snark a lot, blame them not me, blowjob, inspired wholly by friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 11:19:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19061581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyforestshark/pseuds/tinyforestshark
Summary: Ashe walks in on Hanzo enjoying Nantaimori with McCree. It turns out more fun than any of them expected.





	Surprisingly Sturdy Furniture

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChillieBean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChillieBean/gifts), [Dracoduceus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracoduceus/gifts), [robocryptid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/robocryptid/gifts).



> I blame absolutely all of this on ChillieBean and ClassyWastelandBread and RoboCryptid for constantly telling me about this ship and how it _works actually_

"Oh, hey babe!" McCree said, casually as can be, when Ashe entered their home. As if he weren’t lying naked on their dining room table covered in various sushi and fish.

She immediately leaned on the doorframe to the dining room that he and Hanzo were in with her arms crossed. "And what's all this then?"

"Na-"

"A japanese thing where people eat off naked folks!"

Hanzo shot McCree a glare for being interrupted and nudged him between the ribs with his chopsticks. McCree smirked like he was trying not to laugh and Ashe rolled her eyes. Despite the attitude, she still headed over to the table and leaned on Hanzo's shoulder.

"So it's a kink thing?" She asked.

"No, it's a-" Hanzo tried to begin to explain again.

"Yeah." McCree did giggle this time, shaking some of the food, and Hanzo huffed out a breath before setting his chopsticks down and brushing Ashe off.

"I told you, I don't want to do this if you won't take it seriously, McCree." Hanzo moved to stand but McCree reached out his one bare arm and caught Hanzo’s wrist smoothly, not a single sushi out of place this time.

"No, no. I'm sorry, darlin'. I'll be good." He gave Hanzo an earnest look and Hanzo took another breath before sitting back down and picking up his chopsticks. At this point, Ashe wandered off in the direction of the kitchen, dropping her purse and stuff off on a counter before she opened one of the silverware drawers and found Hanzo's collection of random various pairs of chopsticks. She picked up the joke pair she had got him a few years back, lime green sticks held together at the back end by the Green M&M lady and headed back into the dining room. Smirking at Hanzo's sneer directed at the chopsticks, Ashe sat across from him and admired McCree top to bottom.

"Well howdy there, ma'am." McCree drawled with a wink and Ashe looked at Hanzo.

"Is the table supposed to talk?"

"No, but you know there is no shutting him up." Hanzo replied with a smirk. His chopsticks ran up McCree's side and he relished in McCree’s shuddery gasp. Ashe's eyes lit up as the game finally clicked and she immediately snatched one of the pieces off McCree's chest. McCree smiled contently, practically purring under their combined attention. A few pieces later, though, and the peace was broken.

"I was saving that piece." Hanzo growled.

"First come, first serve, slowpoke." Ashe drawled as she dragged her chopsticks around McCree's now exposed nipple.

"If I recall correctly, I was here first." Hanzo shot back.

"Then you shoulda been faster." Ashe snapped back. McCree huffed a quiet, frustrated breath, expecting the usual argument between the two. There was no stopping them once they got going sometimes.

"You were not even invited to this. Why are you here anyways, did you not have a meeting?" Hanzo snatched the piece off McCree's other nipple before Ashe took that one too.

"Skipped it! It was gonna be borin' anyways." Ashe snarked. "You know I get a bigger kick outta ruinin' your fun." She put her chin on her hand and dragged her chopsticks across McCree's skin distractedly, as if trying to decide which piece to choose but it often followed Hanzo's hand as if intended to steal whatever piece he chose. She and Hanzo glared each other down for a minute before Hanzo started grabbing pieces more forcefully in his rush to grab them before Ashe snatched them. This caused both pairs of chopsticks to pinch and rub and tease McCree's skin incessantly. McCree tried to keep quiet, be good, but with their inadvertent teasing and prodding, he couldn't help the needy whine that slipped out. Nor the fact that his cock decided it was done delicately holding Hanzo’s favorite sushi and instead stood at attention.

Both sets of eyes snapped down and McCree let out a guilty moan when their intense, heated attention shifted roughly to him. He tried not to squirm under their attention but it was hard when their distracted rage for each other switched to dominating greedy gazes for him so suddenly. He keened again and closed his eyes, missing the subtle glances and truce made between Hanzo and Ashe in that moment.

"Don't forget McCree, you will be punished for knocking down my favorite piece." Hanzo said, feigning innocence and ambivalence as he picked among the pieces lining McCree's hip bone. Ashe, meanwhile, pinched McCree's nipple gently with the chopsticks and leaned in to talk into his ear.

"Aw, poor Jesse. Always breakin' the rules. If it were up to me, I'd have you spitroasted between Snobby over there and me in a heartbeat. No rules, just good old fashioned _fun_."

McCree keened and tried to turn his head to kiss Ashe but she pulled back just enough that he was forced to lean her way. Hanzo retaliated by pinching McCree's other nipple and gently tugging him back into place.

"Be still, my love." He commanded and McCree full body shivered in response. Ashe continued playing with McCree's erogenous areas, only occasionally eating, while Hanzo thoroughly enjoyed his meal with McCree whining and moaning under him. Maybe letting Ashe have her fun wasn't so bad, he conceded internally, but it was not like she needed to know. He glared at her a little when she snatched the piece he was heading for. Her ego was big enough as it is.

When Hanzo finally picked up the last piece resting on the dip between McCree's abs and his cock, McCree tried to sit up, reaching for both of them. Simultaneously, Hanzo and Ashe shoved him back down flat against the table. McCree groaned with pleasure and frustration but stayed down.

"We still need to clean you up." Hanzo said before standing and heading to the kitchen. The minute he was out of sight, Ashe hopped onto the table and straddled McCree. She winked before leaning down to his chest.

"I know of a better way to clean this off." She drawled before slowly sucking spots off oil and food debris from his chest. She lingered to give him soft bites or sucks until he moaned and squirmed before moving on to the next spot. She was so focused on playing with McCree's nipples that she didn't hear Hanzo re-enter the room.

It wasn't until the rag snapped against her ass, sending her back up onto her knees with a pleased hiss, that she became aware of Hanzo's returned presence. Hanzo ignored her in favor of moving next to McCree's head and pressing the slightly damp rag to his chest. McCree rumbled out a pleased noise from the tender treatment, the rag cooling Ashe's heated bites. Ashe shuffled backwards a little to give Hanzo room but went for _her_ prize instead.

McCree's hips lurched upwards as his cock was engulfed in a warm wet heat and Hanzo used the hand on his abdomen to shove him back down against the table. "Be _still_ , love. I'm still cleaning." Hanzo's reprimand was soft but Ashe's hands gripping McCree's hips and pinning them to the table were hard and McCree pouted up at Hanzo despite how much he enjoyed the contrast between them. He was given a kiss to placate before Hanzo continued to drag the rag across his body.

Once clean, by Hanzo's standards, McCree let out another sad whimper when Hanzo moved to leave. Ashe huffed out an angry breath at being ignored and swallowed down McCree's whole cock, successfully regaining his attention. "B-babe, please, please!" McCree's needy babbling started up again and Hanzo turned to go toss the rag in the laundry basket and pick up some toys to bring back to the table. He hadn't intended to fuck McCree there but it seemed like a good idea as any now. Besides, if he didn't act soon then Ashe would fuck him herself.

When he returned, McCree sounded close to orgasm. Then his moan broke off into a questioning keen when Ashe suddenly lifted off of him. She looked to Hanzo, holding her hand out expectantly. Pretentious woman, Hanzo thought, but handed her the strap-on anyways. He had to concede that spit roasting McCree was one of the most fun things the trio did together. He also handed her the lube once she slid the harness on and returned to his spot by McCree's head. He leaned down to give him a kiss while Ashe lubed up her fingers. He moved away to release the moan that followed when she slid two fingers into McCree. 

Hanzo licked his lips, moved to the head of the table, above McCree's head now, and grabbed him by the shoulders to pull him closer. McCree positively squeaked with the show of strength combined with the sudden lack of fingers inside him. Ashe already having barely worked them in to her first knuckle. Now with his shoulders meeting the edge of the table, McCree’s head dropped down and he came face to face with Hanzo's cock. He preemptively, obediently opened his mouth wide, practically drooling for it.

Ashe snarled at Hanzo for pulling McCree away "Prick." She said before shuffling forwards to return to her task.

"Bitch." Hanzo grunted out in pleasure as he's eagerly swallowed down by McCree. He braced his hands on the table before slowly rocking his hips. Ashe and Hanzo glared at each other over McCree's body and Ashe leaned forward as well to meet him in a kiss that was more teeth than tongue.

McCree reached blindly, trying to hang onto one or both of them as he was assaulted by lovely sensations. Ashe had worked up to a third finger already and was merciless on his prostate while Hanzo thrusted in slowly then held for a second or two, before sliding back out. He could hear the click of teeth and the wet sound of their mouths against each other and whined with jealousy.

McCree finally stretched out, Ashe pulled her fingers out and pushed Hanzo away "Flip him around, I want his mouth this time." She ordered. Hanzo huffed but complied, he'd gotten his turn fucking McCree's face and he _had_ planned to fuck McCree's ass in the first place anyways. Together, they managed to rearrange a dazed McCree. Both took a second to gently touch and admire their good sub, lost in his own head but mouth and legs still spread wide and needy for them. 

Ashe slid her prosthetic in first, relishing in the chocked noise McCree made when she went all the way in on the first thrust. Hanzo arranged McCree's legs around his hips, wishing he could bend McCree in half instead but knowing McCree liked having something to hold onto when he's getting both of them like this. Besides, he thought as McCree's thighs flex deliciously around him, this wasn't the worst place to be.

He grabbed the lube from the table and covered his cock with it before pressing against McCree's hole. He watched the other's dick twitch eagerly and waited for Ashe to be sliding out before he began to slide in. McCree flexed against him and moaned, his hands shooting to grab the edges of the table. One set of soothing hands rubbed his thighs while another ran up and down his chest. He eventually relaxed and Hanzo slid in the rest of the way smoothly.

"Such an eager boy for us, pet. So good and open and pliant." Hanzo complimented. McCree let out a happy noise but it was cut off by Ashe's cock sliding back down his throat.

"Yeah, yer a real sweet thing, aint ya, doll?" Ashe continued the praise and McCree's eyes watered. He was so hard it nearly hurt and no one had touched his dick for several minutes now. He whined and bucked his hips, desperately trying to get his cock some attention but Hanzo's hands just slid up to his hips and his thumbs dug into the grooves leading down to it.

"Shhh, sweet thing, we will take good care of you. Be a good little boy and we will spoil you."

"You'll spoil him either way." Ashe huffed out a laugh with her words.

"Better than you leaving him tied up and hard for an hour." Hanzo growled back.

"He needed to learn a lesson."

"Oh? And what lesson was that?"

"Not to touch my dildos while I aint around." Ashe and Hanzo slowly leaned towards each other again as they argued and they met again in a vicious kiss. Ashe leaned forward further, shoving her cock all the way down into McCree's mouth so she could reach Hanzo's neck and bite a mean hickey into the side of it. Hanzo also lunged forward to bite her shoulder and she hissed out a pleased noise into his ear.

McCree tapped the table twice roughly and they both backed away from each other. Ashe moved enough to let McCree have air and Hanzo enough that McCree could relax his legs. As McCree caught his breath, Ashe scooted back to pull off her harness. Hanzo continued to thrust into him but slowly, gently, and McCree eventually relaxed into it with a bone deep moan. The table wobbled when Ashe moved back up to sit on McCree's face and McCree instantly wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her down.

As much as he enjoyed getting a dick in each end, he loved eating either one of his partners out even more. He thrived on their moans and pleased praises. Shivering, McCree could feel both of their heated attentions directed at him again. Ashe placed her hands on his chest to play with his nipples and Hanzo lifted his thighs higher up his waist to get a better angle. He moaned happily.

Several moments later, the peace broke again.

"Is this a fucking marathon or do you enjoy fucking like a snail?" Ashe snarked and Hanzo grimaced at her. He took a breath and tried to be kind for McCree's sake.

"I like to take my time with Jesse. He can sing so beautifully if you find out how to make him." He smiled when McCree whined, almost embarrassed, but Ashe ground down against his face harder to silence it.

"I prefer to hear him scream. You'd like it, too, if you heard it. Come on, Snotty, just try it. Just once, fuck him like you fuck me."

"And why would I do that?" Hanzo shot back but he looked away from Ashe when one of McCree's hands searched for his. He caught it and McCree gripped his hand tightly for a moment before letting go, only to give him a thumbs up and tighten his legs around Hanzo's waist to pull him in deeper. "Really? You want me to be rough?" Hanzo said, almost surprised. McCree almost always went to him for softness, for the romance and care Hanzo put into treating his sub and to Ashe for roughness, for the pleasure found in pain. 

Often, when all three were fucking, McCree would switch between both of them. Pleasing Ashe with his obedience and Hanzo with his affection. Every once and a while, they shared him, like today, but it was wholly uncommon and it often went as it did so far. Ashe was rough and Hanzo soothed her sting.

Despite his hesitancy, Hanzo had to admit he was a little jealous. He always got to be rough with Ashe but it was more on equal terms, she got to be rough back. A fight that was sexually satisfying. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be rough with McCree, maybe even tie him up real pretty. He snapped back into the present only to catch the end of Ashe's words.

"-think we broke him." She laughed but McCree was suddenly in his face, at some point having moved out from under Ashe and sitting up as much as he could with Hanzo still inside him. When their eyes meet, McCree beamed.

"Hey there, darlin'. Welcome back." He kissed the tip of Hanzo's nose. "Was worried we ruined the moment there." McCree looked away, suddenly seeming shy. "Didn't want that, especially when Ashe already barged in on our plans."

An outraged noise by Ashe was met with a wink and a tongue sticking out from McCree before he returned his attention to Hanzo. It was true and he wasn't going to feel bad about anything other than if Hanzo's fun had been ruined. Hanzo was silent just a moment more, deliberating and getting into the right headspace.

"Well, you both _have_ utterly destroyed my plans." Both partners tensed up, worried that Hanzo was sincerely upset and the fun was over. He leaned in, his head next to McCree's so he could talk into his ear while making burning eye contact with Ashe. "And I think you both need to learn a lesson in etiquette." 

Ashe's face heated up in obstinate rage but McCree's arms slid around Hanzo's neck lovingly. "Safe to say you aint in a Positive Reinforcement kinda mood?" McCree asked, emphasizing his accent as a subtle antagonize. Hanzo easily caught onto the game.

"Not until you learn to speak properly."

"Aw, darlin', you know I aint one a' your high class whores." McCree said with a smirk.

"Nah, you're the lowest a' the bunch, McCree." Ashe replied, also emphasizing her accent. In an extremely rare turn of events, Ashe joined in on McCree's side, taking part in the more submissive end of this game. Hanzo held his "stern" gaze but internally shivered with the sudden rush of power. He can recall the amount of times he was completely in charge on one hand and it always came as a surprise even when it was planned.

"Neither of you are very well behaved but we can change that." Hanzo said before pushing McCree back down flat onto the table. He crooked a finger at Ashe, commanding her to come with just a look. She made a face but complied, shuffling towards him on the table.

"And what about me is so ill behaved, mr. High-and-mighty? I'm pretty sure I got more money than you." She snarked but let his hands guide her into place.

"Money alone does not equal proper behavior. Slut." He smacked her ass with the last word and she gasped, indignant, but was unable help the pleased sigh that followed. It was especially obvious she lost the battle when Hanzo quirked an eyebrow at her and she finished moving into the position he wanted her in.

Hanzo still stood at the end of the table, cock inside McCree. McCree still laid flat, legs clinging around Hanzo's waist and eyes starry as he gazed up at Ashe. He had never seen Ashe act submissive. Soft, yes, with himself, but submissive, especially with Hanzo, was an entirely different experience and he was more than excited to see how this would go. Ashe now straddled McCree's chest, back to Hanzo and hands bracing herself on either side of McCree's head.

"Do high class people really use the word "slut"? I thought-" She cut off with a moan as Hanzo slapped her ass again.

"You thought wrong. High class people do not have time to dance around semantics. We, how do you two say it? 'Call 'em as we see 'em'." McCree chuckled at Hanzo's sass but gasped when he suddenly got a strike on his own ass. "You're not exempt from this punishment, McCree. You also have poor _table manners_ and you knocked down my favorite piece of sushi."

McCree keened when Hanzo pulled out just to thrust in roughly. The table wobbled a little and Ashe's arms gave just enough that she dropped down to her elbows by McCree's head. McCree instinctually reached up and stroked down her sides, stopping and clenching her hips when Hanzo's thrusts began again. Ashe watched his face contort in pleasure for a moment before she started to become bored with being patient for her turn.

"It's not much of a punishment to get to watch McCree's O-face. He's got a pretty mouth. And if you're gonna call anyone a slut, it should be McCr-ahh." Ashe moaned when, wordlessly, Hanzo suddenly dived in to lap at her entrance. She let out an embarrassing squeak when Hanzo nipped at her thighs immediately after.

McCree watched her flush with pleasure as she's eaten out with such attention that he's surprised by his own moan when Hanzo's thrusts shortened but became more forceful. Hanzo placed his hands over McCree's and pressed down on them, urging McCree to press Ashe's hips into his face. He let go when McCree understood the command and gripped McCree's hips instead. McCree barked out another moan and flexed his legs around Hanzo's hips with the newly added force.

"Ah-ah-ashe." McCree gasped out with Hanzo's thrusts. "Ashe, k-kiss me, baby." Ashe complied, turning to face him instead of hide her blush and they kissed passionately. Moaning into each other's mouths and drowning in the attention and pleasure Hanzo was giving them. Hanzo occasionally lifted one hand off of McCree's hip to smack one or both of their asses just to see how they lurched and moaned in response.

At one point, Hanzo stood upright again and fucked into Ashe with the fingers of one hand to keep her satisfied while he watched them kiss. He felt another possessive urge surge through him at the sight of them sloppily making out and thrusting back against him in their pleasure. Both so lost and seeking him for their release that neither thought to touch themselves or each other.

"Good pets." Hanzo cooed and both shuddered at his deep velvety voice. "So good for me. You both really want me, don't you? Both so good to me in hopes I'll let you come."

"Please!" They begged near simultaneously. Ashe growled in shame at her needy actions but with the way she clenched around Hanzo's fingers he can say for certain she was probably not _that_ mad. McCree, meanwhile, comfortable and familiar with begging, just moaned loudly, mouth wide and tongue lolling. Hanzo groaned in pleasure at the sight of them both and he came up with a plan.

Knocking McCree's hands from Ashe's hips, Hanzo pushed her hips down so she is rubbing up against McCree's chest and stomach for pleasure. Hanzo knew from experience that McCree's hairy body was a thrilling texture to grind on but not enough to make someone come. He relished in her needy moan, wanting more, before reaching down and grabbing McCree's cock. McCree shouted in pleasure at the unexpected touch and started babbling, begging for release.

"P-please, love, honey, darlin', dearest. I- I can't, I _need_ -" He cut off when Hanzo started fucking him in earnest. Table creaking with the force behind his thrusts. All his focus on the thick pulsing cock in his hand distracted him from the fact that Ashe was muttering to McCree and brushing the hair from his face almost affectionately. He doesn't stop, doesn't slow, but he listened in, curious.

"Shh, you can. You can, doll. Be good, be good for master." Hanzo nearly came from that alone and decided that they would definitely need to re-discuss kinks and boundaries because he _desperately_ wanted to be rough with McCree again if only to hear him call Hanzo "master" as well. "Be good and maybe he will let you come." She leaned in closer to McCree as if sharing a secret but her voice was louder, tipping Hanzo off that she knew he was listening. "Maybe he will let you even come inside me, if you're a very very good boy."

"I- hah, I'm a good boy, I'm-I'm a good b-boy, right?" His voice ticked up at the end and both partners recognized McCree's insecurities creeping in.

"A good boy. Yes you are. You're gorgeous, doll."  
"You are wonderful, McCree. My good boy. My precious boy."

Both comforts, a kiss on the cheek from Ashe, and McCree was moaning happily again. His arms wrapped tightly around Ashe's shoulders and a moment later, he was coming hard. Ashe, grinding back at the time, caught most of it on her ass and between her legs and, as concerned as he was about McCree's emotional state, Hanzo was laser focused on that glob of cum that was sliding down from her ass cheek and following the curve of her lips. He hauled her hips back up into the air and ground into McCree as he buried his face in between her legs. He licked off every drop of McCree's come before aiming for her core.

Ashe threw her head back with a pleased cry at the sudden, intense treatment and McCree became distracted from his afterglow to watch Ashe's face as she moaned and wiggled back against Hanzo's mouth. Hanzo nipped at her clit before sucking on it and flicking it with his tongue and she cried out once more. McCree's dick made a valiant attempt to stand again at that noise and his ass clenched tightly around Hanzo's dick. Hanzo, moaning against Ashe, started rabbit fucking into McCree, chasing his orgasm. Ashe tried to hide her head in McCree's neck but McCree caught her with a hand in her hair. It pulled a little, unintentionally rough, but he desperately wanted to see her come and she moaned low and pleased when he did so he pulled again, just a little, and her eyes rolled back. Hanzo flicked his tongue just right and she came, shouting curses at the two of them.

Hanzo was the first to move. He stood upright again and pulled out of McCree slowly, just to watch his cum slide out of McCree’s ass. He shuddered in pleasure just to look up and see Ashe still shaking from her orgasm and McCree watching her with stars in his eyes. Hanzo smiled. They may not be the most functional group but they worked it out. 

He heard the crack first, lunged forward second, and barely managed to grab McCree, pinning Ashe between them, before the table fell out from under them. 

It was dead silent for a long moment before Ashe and McCree burst out in laughter one after another. Hanzo tried to laugh but the lack of air was a little too much while holding both people. McCree noticed and found his legs so Hanzo could lower them to the floor and he set Ashe down as well.

They all laughed about it for a good long while before agreeing not to fuck on furniture that wasn't stable enough for two or more people. Or to just get sturdier furniture, McCree suggested, and that answer was also accepted.


End file.
